Even the wind and waves obey Him...By Josh

I haven't been able to shake some of the things I've seen on TV from the earthquake in Japan. Seeing huge buildings pulled right off of the foundation and cars floating around...It reminds me of my fear of the ocean.

The ocean has always freaked me out. It is way to big and it just intimidates me. We like to vacation in California every couple of years or so and I like to get out in the ocean and see if I can handle the waves. It seems like at least one time every trip I go out a little too far and end up getting pummeled by a much bigger wave than I expected. The waves where we visit aren't much more than 5 or 6 feet tall and yet are enough to disorient me and leave me with a mouth full of salt water. In comparison to the waves in Japan, these are nothing. It is just hard to imagine the strength and power of something like that...

While I watched the news I was reminded of how big God is. When I say big I mean big like Ephesians 3:20 (NASB) puts it...

20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.

I am reminded that the strength of the ocean is absolutely nothing to the power of the Creator of the Universe, the God who moves mountains; the God that "even the wind and the waves obey." Then I was quickly reminded of a few of the many times I have been without faith in this God. In my finances, in my work, in my marriage, in God's plan... So many areas of my life I am covered in anxiety. When the God who lives inside of me can do "far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think" we can't even out think his abilities! There is nothing I can come up with that He isn't capable of... That's pretty unbelievable. I am safe in him.

A couple of months ago Neely and I awoke to Drew screaming in her room. We both jumped out of bed sensing something wasn't right. When we made it to her room we realized she was having a bad dream. It was the first time anything like that had happened. Ever since that night she has been very afraid when it comes time for bed. She had a dream that Gorillas were in her room chasing her. Things became so bad that I slept on the floor next to her bed for almost six months!

So fast forward to right now...It is almost Drew's bedtime and Neely and I both know that as soon as we mention to Drew that it is time to go to bed she is going to start to get emotional. That dream was real enough to her that she now has an honest fear that gorillas may come into her room at night. No amount of gorilla-less days that go by seem to ease her fears. It is such a foolish fear to have; there never has been or ever will be a gorilla in our house, yet in Drew's little mind it is a completely legitimate fear. There have been many nights were I have leaned over Drew's bed and tried my best, almost to the point of frustration, to assure her she doesn't need to be afraid or worry. Each time it feels like the Lord has audibly said in my mind that the same is true for me.

The Lord is calling me to give up worrying about my "gorillas." I am thankful for the reminder of how powerful and how uncomprehendibly big God is. From my smallest worry to the largest fear; they are no more than tiny ripples in the water of God's might. I will still mess up; even in the few days it has taken me to write this post I have forgotten what God is capable of. Even still I am so glad to serve a God who can handle everything.

Isaiah 40:12-15 NLT

12 Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers? Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale? 13 Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord? Who knows enough to give him advice or teach him? 14 Has the Lord ever needed anyone’s advice? Does he need instruction about what is good? Did someone teach him what is right or show him the path of justice? 15 No, for all the nations of the world are but a drop in the bucket. They are nothing more than dust on the scales. He picks up the whole earth as though it were a grain of sand.

YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT ME - by neely

Lately it feels that we have been under attack from the devil himself. This isn't a blog post about a hard time that we overcame, its one just stating where we are right now in our walk. Satan has seemed to set himself against our family lately and has been trying to steal our joy. Our daughter Drew has been the best sleeper for over a year now, but starting with a nightmare a few weeks ago she hasn't been sleeping very well and if she does sleep its because we are sleeping on the floor in her room with her or she is in our bed. Josh and I haven't slept in the same bed for almost a month. That gets old.

But we have so much to be thankful for and we are thankful. We thank the Lord everyday for our health, home, and all the other ways He takes care of us. But all those bad things that we have been feeling are real. Feelings of frustration, exhaustion, confusion, depression, anger, and fear. Josh and I are aware that all these bad feelings are from the devil. We have been on our knees praying for it to leave. It just seems extra strong lately. I can't really explain what I feel and I can't share everything that's going on, so I'm just going to list a few things that I have been feeling...things no one would know about me by just a surface conversation...

No one would know that...

- I have panic attacks
- I feel like a failure as a mother
- Sometimes I want to run away
- I hate talking on the phone
- I have a hard time asking for help
- I'm so selfish
- I feel like a bad wife
- I want to eat cookies for every meal
- I'm a terrible house keeper
- I hate to cook
- I try to do it all myself
- I have weak faith
- I can't hide my feelings
- I have no patience
- I yell at God

I could go on.

Well, I'm ashamed that I've admitted all this to the world. But maybe some of you can relate. I don't want to stay this way. I don't want to make excuses anymore. Right now, I'm praying that God would bless me with the fruits of the spirit... love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.
In The Message, this verse is worded different but I love the way it says it... I've highlighted the parts that mean something to me...Galatians 5:19-26...

^19-21It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.

^22-23But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

^23-24Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

^25-26Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

I'm asking the Lord to bring these "gifts" into my life and my home. It's so hard when your home is disrupted. Home is suppose to be a place of refuge and rest, and when those things are taken from us, I tend to lose all control. O God, please come.

Psalms 16:8 - NIV - I have set the Lord continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Email me if you want to share your thoughts or story... neelyjacobson@hotmail.com

GUTS NOT SHORTCUTS part 1 - by neely

Matthew 7:13 says... Don't look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life - to God - is vigorous and requires total attention.

Have you ever seen a couple that has been married for a long time and they still seem happy? genuinely happy? I encourage you to ask them how they made it. There are two different types of married couples, those that make it and those that don't. Some couples ignore issues. You can call it keeping the peace if you want. Or some couples deal with issues as they come. When I say "deal" I mean they get help, they talk about it, they tell the truth, and they stay faithful, and they forgive.

For those couples who stay together but don't deal with issues... they become comfortable, content to live separate lives. They hide things from each other. This is scary in so many ways. It will end up back firing on them. Something will happen and when it does they ask themselves "how did we get here? how did this happen? I didn't see it coming" They were not paying attention.

Matthew 7:13 says at the end "requires total attention"... same for marriage. stay alert. stay in tune with each other.

Colossians 3:15 - Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing.

Being married is HARD. Josh and I have definitely been at a place when we could have bailed. Thankfully we didn't, and thankfully we had the same desires for our marriage. At our first session of our second round of marriage counseling, after we had just shared our main issues with the counselor, she said "well, the good news is... you two still adore each other". I can't tell you how much relief that made me feel. I knew I still loved Josh in spite of all our problems but for someone on the outside to sense that we still liked each other was extremely hopeful for me. That may not make sense, but it let me catch my breath. I didn't feel like we were drowning anymore. I'm so thankful Josh was open to going to counseling with me.

It takes major guts to face your issues. Then it takes even more guts to face your issues in a marriage. Marriage will FORCE you to change. If you don't change, you will be unhappy. Marriage forces you to become one with another person. To become one with someone, there are some things that you will have to quit doing and some things you'll have to start doing regardless of how you feel about it to make the marriage work well.

Hebrews 12:1 - Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won't let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us.

Pay attention to your marriage. Pay close attention. If you don't, Satan will find his way in and will go to great lengths to distort your view on your marriage and your spouse. If you are not watching Satan will rip your marriage right out from under you.

1 Peter 5:7-9 says... Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

So that's why so many marriages fail... because it's extremely hard work. But extremely worth it. Can you imagine a marriage without guilt, doubt, fear, and anxiety?

Job 11:13 says... Still, if you set your heart on God and reach out to him, if you scrub your hands of sin and refuse to entertain evil in your home, you'll be able to face the world unashamed and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.

My advice to the couple who isn't married yet, but hopes to be someday... make sure you have the same desires and same convictions, make sure there's no questions. Don't get married with questions. Don't get married with doubts. If you are already doubting if it will work, don't get married at all.

My advice to the already married couple... make sure you put in a good fight for your marriage. It will be hard, especially if you are DEALING with your issues. If things seem to be easy, almost too easy, maybe you should make sure you're not ignoring issues, just so they won't blow up in your face someday. The grass isn't greener some place else. So keep defending and fighting for your marriage. It's worth it. Very worth it. It takes GUTS to have a good thriving marriage.

Malachi 2:13 - God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that's what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you.

A very dear friend of mine recommend I read this book "Love and War" by John and Stasi Eldridge and it put so many things in perspective for me. I highly recommend it :) If you don't want to buy it, I have a copy, and I'd love to let you borrow it.

Josh and I feel like we are finally at a place of healing in our marriage. That doesn't mean we are fixed. I don't think we'll ever be "fixed". But we feel like we are out of the dark. This song is "our" song right now. It's called Healing Is In Your Hands by Christ Nockels

"In all things we know that we are more than conquerors" - Christy Nockels

God is our mighty healer.

We are about to drive each other crazy - by josh

Neely and I have been going through dry stage. It's really nothing new for us, most of our marriage has been extremely challenging for both of us, but lately it has seemed especially strong and in our face. I'm sure many of you have your own struggles within your marriage. Marriage is somewhat set up to be difficult. You take two completely different people who grew up with two different backgrounds (in many cases) and you put them under the same roof and hope for the best. It sounds a lot like reality TV!

I keep going back and forth in my mind about going in to detail about our problems...They are really nothing to be secretive about. I don't always like to think about our issues because I feel responsible for a lot of our problems. I feel like I have shared a million times that I struggle with anxiety. I guess I just keep bringing it up because it is a major issue for me. My anxiety not only comes from worrying about things, but more specifically, what people think about me. I feel the weight of people's opinions on me constantly. A small example that I have shared before is when I am in a drive-thru line. I order as quickly as possible and I ALWAYS have my money ready to go when I get to the window...God forbid, the person behind me would have to wait an extra 30 seconds on my account!

That kind of issue is really not a big deal on it's own, but add my sweet wife in the drivers seat and things get really tricky! Neely likes to pull up to the ordering speaker and then look the menu over...I wish I could tell you the exact number of times she has sensed me being in a rush and said about the car behind us, "oh they're just fine." Meaning that the people behind us will be alright if they have to wait a couple of minutes on us. The frustrating thing about it is I know Neely is right. I know it isn't going to kill anyone if they have to wait a few minutes...

It's easier said then done...

Here's how is how Neely and I's differences go from simple to out of control...

Neely sees me rushed...worrying about the car behind us.
Neely thinks I care more about the car behind us then her feelings (rightfully so.)
Neely believes that she is making me nervous.
At this point I am not thinking about Neely, only the pressure to hurry.
She then becomes anxious and nervous because I am uptight.
She rushes.
As we drive off, Neely feels uncomfortable and frustrated because something simple was turned into something stressful.
Before she knows it she becomes irritable .
At this point I am relieved we are finally out from the pressure.
Then the tidal wave comes when I realize Neely is feeling all the emotions above.
I ask what I did wrong.
2 hours later we are both more hurt and upset and I still don't know what I did wrong.
and on and on it goes, getting bigger and more out of control.

This is only ONE of my many issues. Put all of my struggles and issues in a big pot and throw in the few things Neely struggles with and it makes for an interesting blend.

Throughout our marriage I have always believed the Lord would use the hard times we have had for good. I have always sensed that the Lord had a specific purpose for our struggles. I guess I thought He would let up a lot sooner! Neely and I are still right in the thick of battling for our marriage. Life is day-to-day if not hour-by-hour clawing to have hope in the midst of our circumstances. Life is hard. We are in marriage counseling for the second time in our short 5 years of marriage. It has been hard to have hope lately. Both of us have to focus on the things we do have. We have the same convictions, the same hopes and dreams for Drew, and wonderful families.

I was reading out of my daily devotional and this really spoke to me.

"At His Feet" devotional-

In a crisis, we are prone to set our minds on the desired outcome. We fix our gaze on the preferred result and ask God to accomplish it. That outcome may be good and holy, but as long as it is our hope, we are not focused on Jesus and His kingdom. Jesus asks us to set our minds on God and accept what He accomplishes. The outcome may be exactly the same in both cases; but calm in our hearts will only be a reality in the latter approach. We cannot experience the peace of faith when our eyes see God as a tool to accomplish our purposes. Our eyes can be either on God or on outcomes. Not Both.

Jesus is constantly telling us to think in a way contrary to our fallen nature. It's difficult; we need frequent reminding. But it's the only way to internal rest. Pry your hopes off of your circumstances and put them on the Person who promises peace. Desire only Him, and you will never be disappointed. Or worried.
----

This was a good reminder for me to quit focusing on the difficult circumstances of our marriage and put my attention "on the Person who promises peace." I need this reminder daily. Worry is in my nature. My old nature...

2 Corinthians 5:17 (TNIV)

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Hope is all I need to keep going. As long as the Lord provides Neely and I with hope, even just a little, there is no doubt in my mind we will make it til death parts us...

God's promises are so sweet

Psalm 9:18 (TNIV)

18 But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish.

HOPELESS - by neely

Lately I've felt hopeless. I've had a lot of doubts and questions. It's one of those times when God seems quiet. He doesn't seem to speak to me at all lately. I can't force Him to speak to me. I can't force Him to answer me. I can't force Him to make me feel better. I keep asking Him to give me hope. I just need a little hope and I can get through the day. If I don't have hope, I feel depressed.

There are times when God is quiet. I don't know why. I wish I did. And it seems He is most quiet when I need Him most. It's hard for me to not take it personal.

A couple of nights ago, I read Romans 15:13 and it made sense to me...

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

I use to think that having hope was a choice. You choose to be hopeful. But after reading this verse I realized that you can't really choose to be hopeful and succeed, at least not for long. The only way you can truly know hope is to trust Him. It says, "as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

So first we trust Him and then by the power of the Holy Spirit, we overflow with hope!!

If we could choose to be hopeful, then this world would have a lot less depressed people. So today I will try and trust that there's a reason He's being quiet in my life right now. Trusting God is the way to hope.


email me :) neelyjacobson@hotmail.com

Fear- by Josh

“Fear creates a form of spiritual amnesia. It dulls our miracle memory. It makes us forget what Jesus has done and how good God is.”

Taken from Fearless by Max Lucado

A couple of nights ago my daughter and I went outside to grill some dinner. I was busy getting the grill ready when I looked over and saw Drew picking up ants with her hands. I know ants are harmless little bugs and she is certainly intrigued by all little creatures at this age but I couldn’t help but immediately tell her to put the ants down and leave them alone. My mind knows ants are harmless, yet in just a few seconds I had rationalized the possibility of ants crawling on Drew, making it into the house, and before I knew it I was imagining how difficult and how costly it would be to get rid of an army of ants infiltrating our home.

The same is true for me in so many other areas of life. Fear and worry are best friends who make it a personal mission to torment my life. One thought can quickly leave me paralyzed by fear internally. I lock up and submit to the lies they whisper to me. My mind jumps from bad, to worse, to absolute worst-case scenario in a short time. It is easy for me to see the negative in my circumstances.

Neely and I moved into our house a little over a year ago. Our backyard is open to a large field that has a lot of wildlife and living creatures in it. Last summer we got the joy of killing snakes outside and dealing with several (LARGE) spiders in our house. My fear of the two became so bad in my mind that at times I actually feared we had made a mistake buying our house. Every day I would walk into our living room and scan the floor for spiders. I would hesitate to lay on the floor to play with Drew. The weight of fear in my life was unbearable at times. It was an all-consuming fear.

These fears are just a few of many. I struggle with fearing what other people think about me. When I drive I get paranoid about being in the far right lane and blocking someone who is waiting to turn behind me. At the drive-thru I order as quickly as possible because I worry about making the people behind me wait. I fear we don’t have enough money in savings because if _________ happened it would empty our savings. The list goes on and on for me.

I am still learning how to release my fears to the Lord. It is a daily struggle and sometimes an hourly one. I heard this verse in a message by Craig Groeschel several years ago and it has been a constant prayer for me.

2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Version)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

I have had to realize that anytime I feel fear it is not from the Lord. When I feel fear I have had to quickly recognize that the enemy is at work. In 1 Peter 5:8 (NKJV) it says,

⁸ Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

I know this is a verse we have all heard many times in our life but I love the way the New King James Version says it… be sober, be vigilant. Dictionary.com defines vigilant this way: keenly watchful to detect danger.

It’s interesting that the Lord gives us a spirit of power, love, and of a sound mind. This is exactly the opposite spirit I have when I am overtaken by fear and worry. I feel powerless and out of control. A sound mind is my hearts longing.

Honestly, I am far from having overcome my struggle with fear. I have lost many days to its subtle destructiveness. Neely and I have been married for almost 5 years and it is just as much an issue for me today as it was when we got married. I feel helpless to it. I read a devotional just this morning that really impacted me…

At His Feet- June 14

...Many Christians get caught in an inconsistency between their words and their lives. It’s quite common. We say we love God, but we fail repeatedly in our obedience, usually in one or two areas in particular. We have secret sins, nagging habits, persistent character flaws that we just do not want to let go of. We know this, and we know God’s desire for us to leave those things behind. But we don’t; it’s too hard. That’s when we need to ask ourselves a deep question: Do I really love Him? That’s the issue, isn’t it? If we loved Him more than that habit, sin, or character flaw, we would have victory. We pursue the things we love most. If we hang on to our hidden faults, don’t we love them more?

Jesus often used “love” and “obey” in the same sentence. It isn’t a coincidence. It’s a challenge. Search your soul. Decide whom you love, and obey Him with all your heart.

We pursue the things we love most…

For many years I have excused my issues. Today I’m going to decide whom I love and obey Him. Will you join me?

"The path to your greatest potential is often straight through your greatest fear."

-Craig Groeschel

HE WILL CONQUER YOU TO BLESS YOU - by neely

ISAIAH 30:18
Yet the Lord still waits for you to come to him, so he can show you his love; He will conquer you to bless you.

The last sentence "He will conquer you to bless you"... is the story of my life.

Let me try to explain with these three experiences...

FIRST:
I've been trying to lose weight for about 5 months now. After having Drew, 2 years ago, I realized that I had 15 pounds to lose to get back to my weight before I got pregnant. I've tried off and on for the last two years without much success. In January I decided to get serious about losing weight. I joined a gym and was eating better. It's now May and I haven't lost one pound!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is so discouraging, to try so hard, and get no results. Whatever!!!! Slowly, I've become convinced that I cannot lose weight and that I'll just have to get use to being bigger than I've ever been.

SECOND:
Josh and I put off taking Drew to the nursery at church for two years and we finally decided that it was time that she get use to being in a class with other kids. The first few times we took her, she would scream and kick and beg us not to leave her. I would get sick to my stomach. It was horrible. I would cry during church knowing she was in there scared. It didn't feel natural to me. It didn't even feel right. I was convinced she would never like it, and that she would be traumatized. I was convinced I would never be able to enjoy sitting through church, because my daughter hated the nursery. I started to dread going to church all together.

THIRD:
I had just gotten out of a gut wrenching relationship that left me feeling misunderstood and a little bitter. But I was also spending a lot of time with the Lord, praying and asking him to guide and direct me towards the next chapter in my life. I wasn't really hanging out with my friends a whole lot. I was just trying to figure myself out. I was bored with my life. I was going to college and driving a school bus as my job. I was getting a little depressed feeling like I had no direction in my life. I hated school, and my job wasn't the best either. I remember being on my bus dropping kids off and a thought popped in my head, "There's absolutely no one to date, and how will I ever meet someone?" I believed that I'd never get married. I felt hopeless. I felt like my life would always stay that way.

These are just three examples of when I was convinced... convinced by Satan, the father of lies, that I was doomed to stay in the miserable state I was in. Growing up my mom taught me how to discern the enemy's voice. And that we should always be on guard. It took me a while before I realized these miserable thoughts were from Satan himself. I was surprised at how subtle and sly he was. He fooled me. But that's not the end of the story.

God knew it would only take 4 times for Drew to go into the nursery screaming. It was on Easter weekend when she RAN in excitedly to her class. Instead of tears of dread, I had tears of joy. I was speechless at how quickly God helped her. Even when I was faithless, He was faithful.

When I was in college and driving a school bus, I remember praying and asking God... "If I'm not going to ever get married, then please take away my desire to be a wife"... then a couple of months later I met Josh :)

What if I give up on dieting? What if I had never taken drew to the nursery? What if I had just believed that I was meant to be single and never pursued Josh? Look what I would have missed!!!

God is constantly, whether you are aware of it or not, trying to conquer things in you so that He can bless you!!!! He makes me face my fears, not because He is a harsh God, but because He is a sweet God who wants to see us overcome and then reap the benefits, which are far greater than you can imagine.

Facing your fears is so scary. Especially if they involve change. But I'm telling you that you have nothing to lose. If you stay where you are, and never take that first step, you'll be more miserable than ever. So maybe your fear is, that once you take that first step you won't know what to do after that. GOD WILL GUIDE YOU. He seldom gives us the entire set of instructions all at once, he just gives us one step at a time. This will improve our faith.

HE WILL CONQUER YOU TO BLESS YOU.

what is your fear??? if you want to talk about it, email me :) neelyjacobson@hotmail.com