I haven't been able to shake some of the things I've seen on TV from the earthquake in Japan. Seeing huge buildings pulled right off of the foundation and cars floating around...It reminds me of my fear of the ocean.
The ocean has always freaked me out. It is way to big and it just intimidates me. We like to vacation in California every couple of years or so and I like to get out in the ocean and see if I can handle the waves. It seems like at least one time every trip I go out a little too far and end up getting pummeled by a much bigger wave than I expected. The waves where we visit aren't much more than 5 or 6 feet tall and yet are enough to disorient me and leave me with a mouth full of salt water. In comparison to the waves in Japan, these are nothing. It is just hard to imagine the strength and power of something like that...
While I watched the news I was reminded of how big God is. When I say big I mean big like Ephesians 3:20 (NASB) puts it...
20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.
I am reminded that the strength of the ocean is absolutely nothing to the power of the Creator of the Universe, the God who moves mountains; the God that "even the wind and the waves obey." Then I was quickly reminded of a few of the many times I have been without faith in this God. In my finances, in my work, in my marriage, in God's plan... So many areas of my life I am covered in anxiety. When the God who lives inside of me can do "far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think" we can't even out think his abilities! There is nothing I can come up with that He isn't capable of... That's pretty unbelievable. I am safe in him.
A couple of months ago Neely and I awoke to Drew screaming in her room. We both jumped out of bed sensing something wasn't right. When we made it to her room we realized she was having a bad dream. It was the first time anything like that had happened. Ever since that night she has been very afraid when it comes time for bed. She had a dream that Gorillas were in her room chasing her. Things became so bad that I slept on the floor next to her bed for almost six months!
So fast forward to right now...It is almost Drew's bedtime and Neely and I both know that as soon as we mention to Drew that it is time to go to bed she is going to start to get emotional. That dream was real enough to her that she now has an honest fear that gorillas may come into her room at night. No amount of gorilla-less days that go by seem to ease her fears. It is such a foolish fear to have; there never has been or ever will be a gorilla in our house, yet in Drew's little mind it is a completely legitimate fear. There have been many nights were I have leaned over Drew's bed and tried my best, almost to the point of frustration, to assure her she doesn't need to be afraid or worry. Each time it feels like the Lord has audibly said in my mind that the same is true for me.
The Lord is calling me to give up worrying about my "gorillas." I am thankful for the reminder of how powerful and how uncomprehendibly big God is. From my smallest worry to the largest fear; they are no more than tiny ripples in the water of God's might. I will still mess up; even in the few days it has taken me to write this post I have forgotten what God is capable of. Even still I am so glad to serve a God who can handle everything.
Isaiah 40:12-15 NLT
12 Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers? Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale? 13 Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord? Who knows enough to give him advice or teach him? 14 Has the Lord ever needed anyone’s advice? Does he need instruction about what is good? Did someone teach him what is right or show him the path of justice? 15 No, for all the nations of the world are but a drop in the bucket. They are nothing more than dust on the scales. He picks up the whole earth as though it were a grain of sand.
