I remember back to my high school graduation. The ceremony had just ended and everyone was moving outside to head to their family celebrations. I was standing with my parents and, still to this day I don't know why, I said "I'm going to get drunk tonight." My parents' response, "Well your an adult now, we can't stop you." Wow...Ever felt like you've just been given permission to do something you know you shouldn't but you just couldn't resist? And what better time to start. The night of my senior party! I mean, this was the last time me and all my classmates would be together right?
Getting drunk is Exactly what I did. And man was it a great experience. I had never laughed so much in one night! I felt like I had just been let in on the big secret I had been missing all through school... Even walking up and down the stairs was fun in my new altered state. I woke up the next morning and was a total believer. That summer left me looking for any and every opportunity to drink.
The remainder of summer break and into my first semester of college I was hard at it. I fit drinking into almost every night of the week. I would work on my homework until I got to buzzed to concentrate. Some nights I'd drink so much that I would still be drunk when I showed up for my 8 o'clock class.
Those were some of the darkest days of my life. I quickly unlearned all that I thought I stood for. The "F" word was a fill word as common as "the" or "and." My whole attitude changed. I am still haunted by the guilt and shame of my actions. Not only did I humiliate myself but I also hurt others in the process. I can never take those days back.
You may be trying to figure out where this whole story is heading. I know this story isn't for you reading this. You don't get drunk. Your just a "social" or "casual" drinker. You like to enjoy a beer or a glass of wine with your meal. You don't get drunk. You have control.
Besides, it's a new day. This is a new generation. I couldn't agree more...Neely and I have had multiple conversations about this. We don't know more than 10 people among our friends who claim to know Christ that don't drink and 4 of those that come to mind live out of state! It is definitely a new generation.
I shared my story to show how my one moment of weakness caused hurts and pains I will never fully know. You may have grown up in a christian home. You may have never experienced alcohol abuse first hand. You may think alcoholics are people stuffed in bars who don't want to deal with reality. But aren't we all one choice away from something like that? My one decision on graduation day could have ruined me for good. By God's Grace he saved me from myself.
Colossians 1:13 (The Message)
13-14God rescued us from dead-end alleys
and dark dungeons.
He's set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much,
the Son who got us out of the pit we were in,
got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating.
I'm forever thankful for all that the Lord has saved me from. I have a lot darkness in my past...impure relationships, an addiction to pornography, struggles with alcohol and tobacco. I have been saved from so much! Since we are all human I'm guessing the Lord has saved you from much as well. So lets live well. The best lives we can in complete devotion to a God that owes us nothing. A God we would be nothing without. So lets not be careless. Life is short.
Psalm 39:5 (New Living Translation)
5 You have made my life no longer
than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.”
What a testimony you have for God to use, Josh. I loved hearing about your past and how the Lord has changed you. Mine is less dramatic in my mind, but to others maybe it would be similar. Don't we each have our flaws in very different ways? It's nice to see some transparency and genuine contemplation. God is good and his love is so merciful and unfailing!! Thanks for the post!!
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