HE WILL CONQUER YOU TO BLESS YOU - by neely

ISAIAH 30:18
Yet the Lord still waits for you to come to him, so he can show you his love; He will conquer you to bless you.

The last sentence "He will conquer you to bless you"... is the story of my life.

Let me try to explain with these three experiences...

FIRST:
I've been trying to lose weight for about 5 months now. After having Drew, 2 years ago, I realized that I had 15 pounds to lose to get back to my weight before I got pregnant. I've tried off and on for the last two years without much success. In January I decided to get serious about losing weight. I joined a gym and was eating better. It's now May and I haven't lost one pound!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is so discouraging, to try so hard, and get no results. Whatever!!!! Slowly, I've become convinced that I cannot lose weight and that I'll just have to get use to being bigger than I've ever been.

SECOND:
Josh and I put off taking Drew to the nursery at church for two years and we finally decided that it was time that she get use to being in a class with other kids. The first few times we took her, she would scream and kick and beg us not to leave her. I would get sick to my stomach. It was horrible. I would cry during church knowing she was in there scared. It didn't feel natural to me. It didn't even feel right. I was convinced she would never like it, and that she would be traumatized. I was convinced I would never be able to enjoy sitting through church, because my daughter hated the nursery. I started to dread going to church all together.

THIRD:
I had just gotten out of a gut wrenching relationship that left me feeling misunderstood and a little bitter. But I was also spending a lot of time with the Lord, praying and asking him to guide and direct me towards the next chapter in my life. I wasn't really hanging out with my friends a whole lot. I was just trying to figure myself out. I was bored with my life. I was going to college and driving a school bus as my job. I was getting a little depressed feeling like I had no direction in my life. I hated school, and my job wasn't the best either. I remember being on my bus dropping kids off and a thought popped in my head, "There's absolutely no one to date, and how will I ever meet someone?" I believed that I'd never get married. I felt hopeless. I felt like my life would always stay that way.

These are just three examples of when I was convinced... convinced by Satan, the father of lies, that I was doomed to stay in the miserable state I was in. Growing up my mom taught me how to discern the enemy's voice. And that we should always be on guard. It took me a while before I realized these miserable thoughts were from Satan himself. I was surprised at how subtle and sly he was. He fooled me. But that's not the end of the story.

God knew it would only take 4 times for Drew to go into the nursery screaming. It was on Easter weekend when she RAN in excitedly to her class. Instead of tears of dread, I had tears of joy. I was speechless at how quickly God helped her. Even when I was faithless, He was faithful.

When I was in college and driving a school bus, I remember praying and asking God... "If I'm not going to ever get married, then please take away my desire to be a wife"... then a couple of months later I met Josh :)

What if I give up on dieting? What if I had never taken drew to the nursery? What if I had just believed that I was meant to be single and never pursued Josh? Look what I would have missed!!!

God is constantly, whether you are aware of it or not, trying to conquer things in you so that He can bless you!!!! He makes me face my fears, not because He is a harsh God, but because He is a sweet God who wants to see us overcome and then reap the benefits, which are far greater than you can imagine.

Facing your fears is so scary. Especially if they involve change. But I'm telling you that you have nothing to lose. If you stay where you are, and never take that first step, you'll be more miserable than ever. So maybe your fear is, that once you take that first step you won't know what to do after that. GOD WILL GUIDE YOU. He seldom gives us the entire set of instructions all at once, he just gives us one step at a time. This will improve our faith.

HE WILL CONQUER YOU TO BLESS YOU.

what is your fear??? if you want to talk about it, email me :) neelyjacobson@hotmail.com

Lose your life-by Josh

Have you ever had a song that you only heard once or twice that just seems to stick with you? Well, I heard this song about four years ago and have been reminded of it several times lately. This song is written by Shane and Shane and has never been released on an album. The message of the song is very powerful. It has become a personal prayer for my life, that I would have nothing of more value than the Lord himself. That his face and his presence would be the longing of my heart. I long to hold this true in my life...

"I'd give the world to be with You,

why would I hold onto anything but only you?"

If I look back over the timeline of my life I find some "thing" attached to each period that represents my longing for contentment. I have spent so many hours, so much money, and so much thought trying to fulfill my need for satisfaction. So many days I have lost to the pit of dissatisfaction. So many days have been spent with the mindset of "if I could only do this...or be good at that...or have this."

Neely has said to me many times that she wants me to be in the present. To enjoy the right here and right now. She is so wise. I have missed so many good days with her because my mind has been off in another place planning and plotting how I might accomplish these things I think will complete me. I have held so tightly to my life and the selfish things I actually believed would satisfy. This verse is the origin of this song, and if your struggles are anything like mine, this verse has much to say to us.

Matthew 16:24-26 (New Living Translation)

²⁴ Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. ²⁵ If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. ²⁶ And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?<[a]'>[a] Is anything worth more than your soul?

I have had to reread this verse several times because the familiarity of it has stolen the power of what Jesus is saying.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.

I love how well Jesus knows us. He knows that our attempts to live life our own way will fail. I love that word "try" in verse 25. That's our best attempt. To try. If we give away our life for his sake he will save us. We wont have to fight and claw through life.

How tightly I have held on to my life. Day to day I thrust myself into the plans I have for my life. I have poured myself into hobby after hobby, thing after thing just begging to be content. After many years of disappointment and discouragement I am coming to the realization that NO thing under the sun will satisfy. There is nothing that can give my heart rest. No amount of money, no amount of recognition, no amount of security in the eyes of this world. True contentment comes when you give yourself up. When you let go. When you freely allow the Lord to make you into who He designed you to be.

These lyrics are from a song I wrote a few years back. These words sum up the timeline of my life so far.

I've fought hard against Your will only to see,

nothing I could ever do will satisfy me.

Rescue me Rescue me Rescue me.

This video is the only way I have to let you hear the song by Shane and Shane. It's live and its not perfect sound quality, but the words are so good. Enjoy.

i was in search of treasure
searching the field of pleasure
sifting through gold and silver
oh what i've found is better

i was in search of fine pearls
i was in search of gaining the world
drinking from cisterns broken
i saw You and sold it all...

i could gain the world
and lose my soul
i could gain the whole wide world
but what would it matter

i’d give the world to be with You (won’t you tell me)
why would i hold on to anything but only You

oh why would I hold on (no reason why)
why would I hold on (no reason why)
why would I hold on (no reason why)
why would I hold on (no reason why)
why would I hold on?

Shane and Shane-No Reason

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES - by neely

Every person has a God shaped hole in their hearts, that only He can fill. No matter how close you are to God, we've all tried at one point or another to fill this hole with something other than God. We do this out of desperation.

I think all females desire to be desired. We want to be complimented, loved, wanted, adored, and romanced. And when we get married we start to subconciously expect our husbands to be responsible for all of these things. When the husband starts lacking in showing us love and attention, thats when the wife starts asking herself... "does he think about me? does he want to spend time with me? is he thinking about someone else? is he even attracted to me anymore? does he even love me anymore?"

Then we start to become bitter and needy. We get emotional and beg for him to notice us. If the begging doesnt work, some of us escape to a fantasy world. For example, romance novels, soap operas, TWILIGHT. These things can be like porn for girls and can destroy our view of love. Fantasy is Satan's tool to keep us away from reality. Satan works slow and subtle. Before you know it, you've lost all hope in your husband. If you keep feeding yourself with fantasy, you may find it close to impossible to be satisfied and content with your real life. This can be devastating to your marriage. Don't fall for this lie.

When I watched Pride and Prejudice for the first time, I longed for my husband Josh to love me like Mr. Darcy loved Elizabeth. I knew Josh loved me, but he didnt show it like Mr. Darcy. So this made me compare myself to Elizabeth... " If i looked like her, maybe then he would love me like that"

This sweet and innocent movie made me question the love Josh had for me and also my worth. I know it seems silly and immature but I know there are wives out there who understand what i'm talking about. I let a movie define the way I want to be loved.

The bible defines love as this...

1 corinthians 13:4-8

love is very patient and kind, never jealous, or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. love does not demand its own way. it is not irritable or touchy. it does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. its never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. you will always believe in him, and always stand your ground in defending him.

After reading that verse, can you really expect your husband to love you perfectly like this? If we did expect this, we'd be disappointed all the time. No matter how great he is.


So what should we do with this longing to be loved so perfectly?


Let God quench that longing. The hole in your heart can only be filled by God. If you dont let him fill it, you'll always be searching for something. I think once we are finally filled up with God's love, thats when our husbands will be captivated by us. All because we're already complete by the love of Christ. We will lose our unhealthy need to try and get his attention. We will start to find joy in making our husband happy instead of longing for him to make us happy.

I've realized that I can get Josh's attention a lot easier if I'm not anxious or uptight.

1 Peter 3:4 says...

but let it be inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which (is not anxious or wrought up, but) is very precious in the sight of God.

In 1 Peter 3:2 its giving advice to wives about husbands. it says... your godly lives will speak to them better than any words.

This post is for the desperate wives that long to be loved in a deep and satisfying way.

Jesus was Amazed-By Josh

I have to admit that I tend to shy away from reading out of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. It has to do with my pride. I have heard numerous times growing up that new believers should start with the gospels. I don't feel like a new believer. I feel more mature than that. I like to dig in to the more advanced stuff. I want to dive into the lessons of Job, Paul's writings from prison, or maybe get really ambitious and read through revelations. Besides, if you've read one of the gospels you've read them all right?

All that to say, I have committed to reread the gospels. I am not very deep into my new venture and I already feel like the Lord is revealing new things to me. Things my pride could not see. I have always struggled with having a proper view of who God is. When I think about heaven I long to see the angels. I want to see the seraphim's described in Isaiah 6 with six wings. I want to hear them shout "holy, holy, holy is the Lord God almighty, The whole earth is full of his glory." I want to feel the temple shake by the mighty sound of their voices. Yet, I can't help but realize how wrong I am. Desiring the created instead of the Creator. If their worship is that powerful how much greater is the One they are praising. My view of God is so small. This plays out daily in my life. I cling to worry instead of living a carefree life of faith.

I came across this small story early in Matthew and I thought it was worth sharing.

Matthew 8:5-13 (New Living Translation)

5 When Jesus returned to Capernaum, a Roman officer[b] came and pleaded with him, 6 “Lord, my young servant[c] lies in bed, paralyzed and in terrible pain.”

7 Jesus said, “I will come and heal him.”

8 But the officer said, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come into my home. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. 9 I know this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.”

10 When Jesus heard this, he was amazed. Turning to those who were following him, he said, “I tell you the truth, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel! 11 And I tell you this, that many Gentiles will come from all over the world—from east and west—and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob at the feast in the Kingdom of Heaven. 12 But many Israelites—those for whom the Kingdom was prepared—will be thrown into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

13 Then Jesus said to the Roman officer, “Go back home. Because you believed, it has happened.” And the young servant was healed that same hour.

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Several things stuck out to me as I read this. A few verses before this story takes place it mentions that a crowd was with Jesus. When this officer "came and pleaded with him" it was in front of a number of people. Next, I felt the urgency on the part of the officer when he said his servant was laying in bed paralyzed and in terrible pain. Then the craziest thing happens, Jesus simply says "I will come and heal him." No questions asked...The officer just received what he desperately desired from the best of the best, the ultimate physician. His response...I am unworthy to have you come into my home. Say the word and it is as good as done.

That doesn't sound much like our culture today does it, passing on an opportunity to have Jesus into their home. The same Jesus who was creating all the buzz. The Jesus who was quickly becoming well known. We long to be in the presence of greatness. Whether it's athletes, musicians, or politicians; we desperately want to be associated with excellence for our gain. People connect themselves with royalty and fame through their cousin's uncle's brother's friend. We long to be associated with the people who appear important in the eyes of this world.

This Roman officer understood who Jesus was and what he was capable of. My favorite part about this story is that Jesus was amazed at what he heard. I don't know about you but I would love to amaze God. I long to have faith that stands above the rest. Jesus said he had not seen faith like that in all of Israel. I know we have all heard this verse a thousand times before but I thought this story put a new perspective on it.

Matthew 17:20 (New Living Translation)

20 “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.[a]”

I don't pretend to know what faith as small as a mustard seed means, but I do know what it looks like. It looks like the officer in the story. Listen to Jesus' response to this mans bold faith, "because you believed, it has happened."