DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES - by neely

Every person has a God shaped hole in their hearts, that only He can fill. No matter how close you are to God, we've all tried at one point or another to fill this hole with something other than God. We do this out of desperation.

I think all females desire to be desired. We want to be complimented, loved, wanted, adored, and romanced. And when we get married we start to subconciously expect our husbands to be responsible for all of these things. When the husband starts lacking in showing us love and attention, thats when the wife starts asking herself... "does he think about me? does he want to spend time with me? is he thinking about someone else? is he even attracted to me anymore? does he even love me anymore?"

Then we start to become bitter and needy. We get emotional and beg for him to notice us. If the begging doesnt work, some of us escape to a fantasy world. For example, romance novels, soap operas, TWILIGHT. These things can be like porn for girls and can destroy our view of love. Fantasy is Satan's tool to keep us away from reality. Satan works slow and subtle. Before you know it, you've lost all hope in your husband. If you keep feeding yourself with fantasy, you may find it close to impossible to be satisfied and content with your real life. This can be devastating to your marriage. Don't fall for this lie.

When I watched Pride and Prejudice for the first time, I longed for my husband Josh to love me like Mr. Darcy loved Elizabeth. I knew Josh loved me, but he didnt show it like Mr. Darcy. So this made me compare myself to Elizabeth... " If i looked like her, maybe then he would love me like that"

This sweet and innocent movie made me question the love Josh had for me and also my worth. I know it seems silly and immature but I know there are wives out there who understand what i'm talking about. I let a movie define the way I want to be loved.

The bible defines love as this...

1 corinthians 13:4-8

love is very patient and kind, never jealous, or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. love does not demand its own way. it is not irritable or touchy. it does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. its never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. you will always believe in him, and always stand your ground in defending him.

After reading that verse, can you really expect your husband to love you perfectly like this? If we did expect this, we'd be disappointed all the time. No matter how great he is.


So what should we do with this longing to be loved so perfectly?


Let God quench that longing. The hole in your heart can only be filled by God. If you dont let him fill it, you'll always be searching for something. I think once we are finally filled up with God's love, thats when our husbands will be captivated by us. All because we're already complete by the love of Christ. We will lose our unhealthy need to try and get his attention. We will start to find joy in making our husband happy instead of longing for him to make us happy.

I've realized that I can get Josh's attention a lot easier if I'm not anxious or uptight.

1 Peter 3:4 says...

but let it be inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which (is not anxious or wrought up, but) is very precious in the sight of God.

In 1 Peter 3:2 its giving advice to wives about husbands. it says... your godly lives will speak to them better than any words.

This post is for the desperate wives that long to be loved in a deep and satisfying way.