GUTS NOT SHORTCUTS part 1 - by neely

Matthew 7:13 says... Don't look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life - to God - is vigorous and requires total attention.

Have you ever seen a couple that has been married for a long time and they still seem happy? genuinely happy? I encourage you to ask them how they made it. There are two different types of married couples, those that make it and those that don't. Some couples ignore issues. You can call it keeping the peace if you want. Or some couples deal with issues as they come. When I say "deal" I mean they get help, they talk about it, they tell the truth, and they stay faithful, and they forgive.

For those couples who stay together but don't deal with issues... they become comfortable, content to live separate lives. They hide things from each other. This is scary in so many ways. It will end up back firing on them. Something will happen and when it does they ask themselves "how did we get here? how did this happen? I didn't see it coming" They were not paying attention.

Matthew 7:13 says at the end "requires total attention"... same for marriage. stay alert. stay in tune with each other.

Colossians 3:15 - Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing.

Being married is HARD. Josh and I have definitely been at a place when we could have bailed. Thankfully we didn't, and thankfully we had the same desires for our marriage. At our first session of our second round of marriage counseling, after we had just shared our main issues with the counselor, she said "well, the good news is... you two still adore each other". I can't tell you how much relief that made me feel. I knew I still loved Josh in spite of all our problems but for someone on the outside to sense that we still liked each other was extremely hopeful for me. That may not make sense, but it let me catch my breath. I didn't feel like we were drowning anymore. I'm so thankful Josh was open to going to counseling with me.

It takes major guts to face your issues. Then it takes even more guts to face your issues in a marriage. Marriage will FORCE you to change. If you don't change, you will be unhappy. Marriage forces you to become one with another person. To become one with someone, there are some things that you will have to quit doing and some things you'll have to start doing regardless of how you feel about it to make the marriage work well.

Hebrews 12:1 - Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won't let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us.

Pay attention to your marriage. Pay close attention. If you don't, Satan will find his way in and will go to great lengths to distort your view on your marriage and your spouse. If you are not watching Satan will rip your marriage right out from under you.

1 Peter 5:7-9 says... Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

So that's why so many marriages fail... because it's extremely hard work. But extremely worth it. Can you imagine a marriage without guilt, doubt, fear, and anxiety?

Job 11:13 says... Still, if you set your heart on God and reach out to him, if you scrub your hands of sin and refuse to entertain evil in your home, you'll be able to face the world unashamed and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.

My advice to the couple who isn't married yet, but hopes to be someday... make sure you have the same desires and same convictions, make sure there's no questions. Don't get married with questions. Don't get married with doubts. If you are already doubting if it will work, don't get married at all.

My advice to the already married couple... make sure you put in a good fight for your marriage. It will be hard, especially if you are DEALING with your issues. If things seem to be easy, almost too easy, maybe you should make sure you're not ignoring issues, just so they won't blow up in your face someday. The grass isn't greener some place else. So keep defending and fighting for your marriage. It's worth it. Very worth it. It takes GUTS to have a good thriving marriage.

Malachi 2:13 - God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that's what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you.

A very dear friend of mine recommend I read this book "Love and War" by John and Stasi Eldridge and it put so many things in perspective for me. I highly recommend it :) If you don't want to buy it, I have a copy, and I'd love to let you borrow it.

Josh and I feel like we are finally at a place of healing in our marriage. That doesn't mean we are fixed. I don't think we'll ever be "fixed". But we feel like we are out of the dark. This song is "our" song right now. It's called Healing Is In Your Hands by Christ Nockels

"In all things we know that we are more than conquerors" - Christy Nockels

God is our mighty healer.